The day after Alexis talked with/to Ethelred about Lady Alba, Alexis approaches Gustav after his morning “ritual”.
“Gus. I’ve been thinking that we haven’t really talked about the first Sally. You conducted a great ceremony on the mountain, and I’m sure she was touched.”
“And it seems like you might still be grieving her loss. For such a strong love for Sally, you have always strongly rejected any suggestions to get a new mule to love.”
“And you still seem very unhappy with Sally” Alexis nods towards Sally in a near tree, “who has proven loyal and seems to just want you to love and accept her.”
“Do you need some time for grieving before we go? I need you unburdened while we seek out Bandesing’s operations.”
Alexis awaits Gustav’s response.
Gus can’t look Alexis in the eye and his own eyes are moist.
“I thought I kept my feelings about Sally secret. Yes, I was troubled when she died. The troubles never went away. The trouble I feel is filled so full that I don’t think I can take another animal that is mine dying on me.
You are right that the crow wants to join me. It wants to join me so it can die and make me so troubled that I die. It wants me to love it so that I die. It wants my destruction. Even if it doesn’t know it.
But un-joining from the crow would maybe kill it and kill me too. Damned if I do, Damned if I don’t.”
After what seems like minutes of silence. Gus talks again.
“Maybe there are more than two choices. Maybe I could transform the crow somehow. Into something different. Something that isn’t a newborn Sally. Something that isn’t a sad depressed crow. Something that helps me drain the Sally trouble fullness. With more color. A bluejay? A woodpecker? Not sure…”
Gus looks again at Alexis. To check for understanding.
“What do you think?”
“A crow seems fitting. They live with man. They like shiny things; treasure. They’re very smart. They are social.”
“And no-one will understand your grief like Sally.” Alexis looks earnest and give Gustav a warm smile. This is a subject space that Alexis not as confident in.
“I know a lot of people are looking to find someone who looks at them like Sally looks at you. I say, let her love you. Nothing is permanent. I’m 20 years older than I should be, and I’m grateful that I only lost 20 years. The treasure hunting business is a dangerous one. We all have to accept that we can go at any point, and embrace live while we’re still here.”
Alexis clasps Gustav on the side of his shoulder. “Regarding losing Sally on the mountain, I mourn your loss. She was a fine animal, and I wish she was still with us.”
“But please don’t let your sadness for her keep your heart hardened to those who want to love you.” Alexis keeps his hand on Gustav’s shoulder to emphasize that he wants what’s best for Gustav.
Gus first twitches when Alexis touches his shoulder. Then slowly lowers his shoulder to relaxation.
“You are saying truth. Wisdom comes to you naturally. Thanks for coming to me with a kindness.”
…
“No point in punishing the crow for what ain’t her fault.”
…
“I’ll start giving some smiles, ask to retrieve items and reward her. Baby steps. Maybe she will forgive me.”
Alexis smiles kindly at Gustav “I’m sure she will.”